The Rebbe: Advice

1. The Melting Pot
Dollars
New York Mayor David Dinkins
September 1989
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The Mayor: I just wanted you to know, that the blessing I got before, worked very well.

The Rebbe: I am happy to hear it.
D: Thank you so much.
R: May G-d almighty bless you.
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The Rebbe: G-d almighty is our leader.

This is for charity for all New York. Including me and Mr. Dinkins.
Especially for the benefit for the multitudes of nationalities in NY.

It is a melting pot for many nations. May all these nationalities live, in good peace and in harmony.

And every one of them, should strengthen all the nationalities around them, especially in matters of charity.

I hope that in the near future, the melting pot will be so active, that it will not be necessary to underline (emphasis) every time, that they are negro, or they are white, or they are Hispanic, etc, etc, because there are no differences.

All of them are created by the same G-d. And they are created for the same purpose, to add all good things around them. Beginning especially, with themselves and their families,
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That is also an important thing to underline, for someone that is active in communal affairs. Not to forget about his wife and children, and his grand children; and in time to come, great grand children.
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As I said before, I am not so happy in underlining, Brooklyn being on one side, and Manhattan on a second side, and other people – the Hispanics, etc., on a third side.

If it is a real melting pot, then certainly it must be a melting pot, for all good things with no differences.
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There is a curious fact, in the Jewish prayers of Rosh Hashanah, that there is a G-d Who is the ruler of all the universe. Not only of our country, but of all the universe. And don’t be afraid of a task, to do something for all the universe.
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2. Yichidus
Mrs. Chana Sharfstein
In her early twenties, in 1954

One time when I went into Yechidus, the Rebbe started asking me about Shidduchim.
I was dating, and I just answered: Yes, I was meeting people.

Then the Rebbe started asking me, about different boys.
I thought to myself that is strange, all the boys that the Rebbe asked me about, I had gone out with them.

I answered about them, that although they were nice boys, I had my reasons for not marrying them.
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The Rebbe then said to me: “I know that you like to read.”

I said: “Oh yes I do.”

He said: “And what kind of books do you prefer reading.”

I said: “I loved to read novels.”

The Rebbe said: “Novels are fiction, and fiction is make believe, it is not real.
So what you read in a novel, is not what happens in real life.”

“In a novel, people meet, and there is this big blinding storm of passion. That is not, what real love is all about.

In real life, two people can meet, and there can be a thread of understanding. It is like a tiny little flame.

And as these people merge their lives together, and decide to build a home, and raise a family. Through the everyday activities of life, through caring and sharing, through commitment to each other, going through the daily tribulations of life; this little flame then grows ever brighter, into a much bigger flame.

Until these two people, who started out a strangers, have through life, become intertwined to such an extent, that neither one of them can think of life, without the other.

This is what true love is all about. It is small acts, that you do on a daily basis, that make you become, instead of you and I, us.
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3. Rabbi David Edelman / Connecticut
1942

Once I was standing with a few friends, in the hallway of 770, and the elevator opened up. The Rebbe came out, and he came over to us, and started telling us what happened upstairs, in the Pervious Rebbe’s room.
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“I ask the Previous Rebbe, if I am doing the right thing.
I have an office here in Merkos, and all kinds of people come to see me, and some give donations.

Some are not religious Jews. But I am friendly, no matter what kind of people come in.

Am I doing the right thing, by being friendly to non-religious Jews? Since I don’t say anything to them, maybe they think, that it is not so bad, that they are not religious.”
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The Rebbe answered me: “It is the nature of parents, that no matter how many children they have, they have enough love for all of them. That is the way G-d created the world.

But if among a big family, one child has a problem with a hand, or a problem with a leg. The father and mother, have even more love for that child. Because he needs more.

So if a Jew comes into your office, who is missing a hand, because he has not put on Tefillin, or a leg because he has not gone to Shul; to that Jew, you have to have a deeper love.

The more that he is lacking, the greater your love has to be for him.”
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4. Rabbi Shmuel Kaplan
1973

After I was learning in the Kolel for 2-3 months, I was asked to come to speak to Rabbi Hodakov, who was the Rebbe’s personal secretary.
He told me, that he has a special mission for me. And that this should be my top priority. And take as much time, as is needed.

There was a seventeen year old girl, who was having a great deal of emotional problems. She had many severe issues that bothered her.
For some unknown reason, the Rebbe took an extraordinary, personal interest, in trying to help her. The Rebbe put himself into it, with a lot of intensity, time and effort.

Over 3-4 months, I spent 50% of my time trying to help her. I didn’t do a single thing, without consulting the Rebbe.

She herself would write to the Rebbe, and we would discuss the answer that she had received.
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Once she wrote to the Rebbe, about the excruciating pain and anguish, that she
was going through. The emotional turmoil, that she was feeling inside of her.
She described it at length and in detail, over a couple of pages.

The Rebbe after receiving her letters, would uncharacteristically, usually answer her in a couple of hours,.
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In answer to her desperate letter, the Rebbe wrote:
“When you will merit to grow up and marry, and G-d willing, you will have a child, the nature of things are, that in the first year, a child begins to teeth. Teething is very painful, and the child cries a lot.

A mother feels that pain, as if it was her own.
This is how I feel, your pain.”
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She then realized, that the Rebbe was feeling what she was going through, and that he was trying to help her. This changed her life. And eventually she did get married and had a family.